guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
