i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
