C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
