well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
