i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
