How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
