WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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