so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We left the knife in your bed.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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