your room smells of hookers.
And success
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
