at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize