I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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