Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Your dad touched me again.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
