first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
