i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i think i have herpe
just one?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
