I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
