Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
