Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
