Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
