Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
