Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
