Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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