I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
