these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
