apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
