I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im holly from the hills drunk
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
