Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
How's work?
Spinning.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
