I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
