I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
