just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
