i permit you to call me
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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