i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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