And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
