oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
