I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
