so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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