I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
