hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
