There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
