I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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