I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
