Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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