Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize