At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
