so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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