I'm laying in your front yard are you home
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
