The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
