She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
