and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
