But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
