everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
