I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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