she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
