Where is the hickey?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My vagina is officially offended.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
