If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We have so much sex to catch up on
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
