It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
