I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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