People with herpes should wear stickers.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
