I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
