the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
