Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
