I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
